Have you seen this weird internet trend: Halloween pumpkins giving birth? Apparently it’s a thing. So, obviously we decided to illustrate the joys of parenthood through, well, pumpkins. Welcome to the strangest article ever written.
1. Remember the good old days, when you were just two sexy kids (with no kids)?
Photo courtesy of Instructables
2. Then you pee on a stick and…oh, yeah, it’s on.
Photo courtesy of Pumpkin Gutter
3. Once the barfing subsides, you’re ready to share the news with the world.
Photo courtesy of Happenings of our Home
4. Bonus: Your besties are pregnant, too! #squadgoals
Photo courtesy of Mark Jordan
5. When you try to get some rest, inside your baby be like:
6. Are those Braxton Hicks or the real thing? Better call the midwife, girl!
Photo courtesy of Marking our Territory
7. Remember how you worried about having your hair and make up done for the hospital? Hahaha, that was funny. But you still looked great, promise.
Photo via pinterest
8. Thankfully you remembered your chic silk scarf and earrings.
Photo via pinterest
9. And a pedicure.
Photo courtesy of The 611 Man
10. Oh, that’s for sure broken forever.
Photo via pinterest
11. Is the F*!@ING baby coming out sideways?!?!
Photo courtesy of Easyday
12. Emergency C-section? But what about my birth plan?
Photo via Charleston Daily Photo
13. I can’t believe it—we did it! He’s perfect!
Photo courtesy of Contracept.org
14. Oh sh*t. Now what?
Photo courtesy of Contracept.org
15. How much poop can one baby even have?
Photo via pinterest
16. Aaaaaaand, I have no nipples. Just raw gaping wounds. Cool.
Photo courtesy of Mommyish
17. Let’s try the pump, maybe?
Photo courtesy of Pinterest
19. I’m so glad we bought the expensive crib to hold all the new adorable outfits that only fit for three days.
Photo: iStockphoto
18. Look at us rocking parenting and meal planning like total pros. Wait, why is her eye twitching?
Photo courtesy of Happy Home Fairy
20. Some days you answer the door looking just like this.
Photo courtesy of Dalai Lina
21. Hey, check me out. This breastfeeding thing is getting a little easier—and I had time to do my hair!
Photo via pinterest
22. But my house looks like this. Mat leave was supposed to be all about organizing and batch cooking, right? RIGHT?
Photo courtesy of Creative Connections for kids
23. HAS ANYONE FED THE F*!$#ING DOG TODAY?!?!?!?
24. What other families look like on Instagram:
Photo courtesy of The House that Lars Built
25. Meanwhile, you’re trying to get someone (anyone!) to look at the camera.
Photo courtesy of Dalai Lina
26. The division of labour is going exactly as planned. We are a great team!
Photo courtesy of The Twist
27. Oh look, he’s crawling now. He literally never stops moving. Where the heck is that baby gate?! #fml
28. He starts daycare and you have some time to chill before mat leave ends. NOPE. Now he’s got a new virus every third day. It’s cool to call in sick your first day back to work, right?
Photo courtesy of Somewhat Simple
29. Rad, it’s 3 a.m. Again.
30. Those last 12 months weren’t that bad, maybe we should try again? Honey?
Photo: shutterstock
31.We’ve totally got this. What could possibly surprise us the second time around?
Photo courtesy of Joe Farrier
Read more:
How do you know you’re ready for a second baby?
55 things nobody told me about my baby’s first year
9 new mom lessons from my first year of parenting
The post 31 times Halloween pumpkins totally nailed what it’s like to be a parent appeared first on Today’s Parent.